An article written by a woman primarily intended for a female audience has a much different message, even if the tone and intention are similar to the men’s article (Raye). Her opening statement is that women should not feel scared or anxious to express feelings around men, which is an emotion based on the presupposition that men are scared of feelings. The assumption that is the case actually puts both parties in a relationship in a situation where they are nervous to talk about emotions, which is a dangerous place to be in from a communications perspective. The author only advises that women should not unleash pain, disappointment, or anger in a non-constructive way; that is the kind of emotional baggage that causes men to “shut down” in communication. The second piece of advice she offers is along the same lines – namely, that women should stop trying to hide what they are actually feeling. When a man withdraws, the next step is not to ignore a feeling entirely; doing so, the author claims will put more distance between the pair. The appropriate course of action is to be authentic and keep it simple. When it comes time to express feelings, then it is time to use the right words. As the author explains, simply starting with an accusation will lead to the opposite of a resolution in the sense that it will create unnecessary tension. Instead, the author advises that women take the man out of the equation and simple phrase a complaint in terms of their own feelings. So, for example, instead of accusing a man of always being late, perhaps the woman can express that she gets angry when he is late. The balancing act allows the woman to not hide who she really is while expressing her honest feeling. A relationship will have genuinely good communication when a woman is not afraid to show a man her true self that who respects that man enough to want to come to a disagreement. This is presented as advice to consistently avoid feeling disappointed and to ensure a better response the next time feelings need to be shared.
Meeks, Brenda S., Susan S. Hendrick and Clyde Hendrick. "Communication, Love and Relationship Satisfaction." Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 15 (1998): 755-773.
Mitchell, Lawrence. 5 Ways To Communicate With Women. 28 February 2015. 3 March 2015. <http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice_60/86_dating_tips.html>.
Persinger, Michael A. and Katherine Makarec. "Psychometric Differentiation of Men and Women by the Personal Philosophy Inventory." Personality and Individual Differences 12 (1991): 1267–1271.
Raye, Rori. 3 Tips To Help You Communicate With Men The RIGHT Way. 4 January 2015. 3 March 2015. <http://www.yourtango.com/experts/rori-raye/3-tips-to-communicate-with-men>.
Simon, Robin W. and Leda E. Nath. "Gender and Emotion in the United States: Do Men and Women Differ in Self-Reports of Feelings and Expressive Behavior?" American Journal of Sociology 109 (2004): 1137-1176.
Stanley, Scott M., Howard J. Markman and Sarah W. Whitton. "Communication, Conflict, and Commitment: Insights on the Foundations of Relationship Success from a National Survey." Family Process 41 (2002): 659-675.
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